Mooching Off Friends For Free Beer?
Hey, hope you liked the Drunken Sailor Song… Today’s it’s The Free Beer Song:
Now then, let’s talk about how to get some free beer!
Last week, I was advocating the old mooching off friends technique. Now this is one of the less savory approaches to getting free beer and will perforce require a constant influx of new friends to make up for the ones who leave in disgust after you’ve enjoyed all of the beer they care to offer.
Mr. Bernie Madoff was a great fan of this approach and wound up with a nice ticket to some jail time as a result. His great friends were left with a 65 billionish dollar beer-tab and were none-too-happy about it.
You see, he had figured out a way to enjoy only part of the beer friends offered him, passing along the dregs to his bestest friends and making them think they were getting a great deal. Indeed, by combining enough dregs and giving them out to enough friends, everyone thought they were getting bona-fide fresh beer forever so long as they waited in line long enough! They all thought they could get their beers back PLUS 10%+ annualized as steady as the tap flows and all this just from the leftovers of Mr. Madoff’s brew. Woo hoo!
Too bad they were mostly just getting back-wash. Yeesh. In the case of the Madoff Ponzi, the tip-off is constant, unfluctuating and magnificient returns in all kinds of different market conditions. NO ONE but a schemer NEVER gets a bad year!
There are of course more legitimate ways to go about this than an all-out Ponzi scheme like the one above. They’re known as MLM companies. Multi-Level-Management operations.
I nearly joined one myself in University but soon came to understand what they were about after looking over the catalogue of their offerings. At first, I thought I could turn it into a coffee re-selling business catering to schools in the area but when I learned that the prices in their catalogue were in fact not in any way competitive with anyone else, my plan for free beer fell apart. Even with good contacts in the industry, I hadn’t a Guiness’ chance in an Irish Pub to make it out alive.
The salesman for the company then tried to reassure me that starting an actual business was not actually the best way to earn free beers in this organization. (Bait and switch there?) The way to great returns, he said was to find other inebriated folk who’d stock their own house with the company’s products (thus giving you a cut from the head of the beer) and find yet more such people so that a percentage of their beer flows back to you ad nauseum! He himself claimed to have found some 30 or so folk who were funneling him the good stuff!
That’s when the alarm bell went off in my head. That’s when I got a grasp of the true model he was selling and wanted nothing of it. Mooching off of friends by making them buy overpriced products was not the way for me.
So, you know a company’s model is one of mooching off friends when you find that no unbiased person would buy the products on offer because there are cheaper, better and more accessible products to be had just about anywhere else!
Be careful out there because these guys scour college and University campuses to expand their networks. They’ll use the age-old siren call of endless effortless beer on tap for all of their “partners” but for all of the fancy labeling, it remains what it is: mooching beer off friends.
Friends don’t let friends mooch.
Friends pump stocks they’ve already bought onto other friends to make a profit. No wait… no they don’t!
And so we see that investing and writing about it is a total moral minefield. That’s why a real newsletter has reams of disclaimers at the end!
Now consider this: If I genuinely believe in a company’s potential to generate untold gallons of free beer for investors, I should tell everyone I know about it. It’s the moral thing to do!
But if I’ve invested in it first, that means I get the biggest share of profits after the price skyrockets in a straight line… Hum…. Even if there was such a thing as a straight upshot for stocks, that part’s not so nice for the friends… especially if the stock then crashes at some later date AND even more so if I didn’t warn the friends to get OUT! It gets REALLY amoral if I get out quietly myself at the top with all the beer I can carry off and let my friends hold the empty kegs afterwards.
This kind of ugly behavior is just what makes people rightfully despise any sort of stock advice. Getting in on the losing side of that kind of behavior is the risk anyone here takes by buying into anything I mention on this site. Remember that and read the disclaimers!
OK, that’s pretty horribly immoral and I like to think of myself as a nice person.
So, having properly warned everyone about the minefield that this is, I’ll remind you of the isco stock I mentioned last week.
Here’s a cut-and paste from IHUB:
International Stem Cell Corporation is focused on the therapeutic applications of human parthenogenetic stem cells and the development and commercialization of cell-based research and cosmetic products. ISCO’s core technology, parthenogenesis, results in the creation of pluripotent human stem cells from unfertilized oocytes (eggs). hpSCs avoid ethical issues associated with the use or destruction of viable human embryos. ISCO scientists have created the first parthenogenic, homozygous stem cell line that can be a source of therapeutic cells with minimal immune rejection after transplantation into hundreds of millions of individuals of differing genders, ages and racial background. This offers the potential to create the first true stem cell bank, UniStemCellTM. ISCO also produces and markets specialized cells and growth media for therapeutic research worldwide through its subsidiary Lifeline Cell Technology, and cell-based skin care products through its subsidiary Lifeline Skin Care. URL: http://www.internationalstemcell.com
OK, it’s me again. Just a few other pointers about this company.
The company has Parkinson disease program. They’ve just completed a study on primates with very good results and are trying for an IND with the FDA in 2014 to be able to sell the process for humans. This would be their first super-break-through as far as medicine goes.
Another interesting point here is that this company is generating sales from the general population through its skin crème as well as from scientists through its cell-lines. Both segments are growing at double-digit rates so far. More details on growth rate will come when they release their 3rd quarter earnings report.
However, in keeping with this blog’s theme, by far the best part of this company is its future contribution to the health of beer-drinkers everywhere: Hepatocytes!
YES! Soon, we will have stem cells to regenerate liver function. If you’ve abused beer to the point of killing your liver, fear not! A new one with no rejection issues will soon be available! OK OK, not exactly soon as this is still years in the making, but eventually it will be part of your reality the same way laser eye surgery is.
But wait, there’s more! Perhaps you’ve seen this bit of horrible news:
Wow! Stopping the beer taps to get a genetic match for a stem cell treatment! Unbelievable on so many levels and yet… laudable to sacrifice so much beer-time.
ISCO will hopefully put a stop to the need for such noble sacrifices. Their cell lines can match hundreds of millions of people PER LINE! A dozen or so lines could be enough to immune-match most of the world! Now THAT’S a cell-bank!
So here’s to more beer and to the stocks that’ll let you drink it (responsibly!) all your life!